Trauma Impacts Both Partners
PARTNER TRAUMA
Partners of sex addicts suffer three types of overwhelming injuries which together damage the intimate relationship and cause you to experience Complex Betrayal Trauma.
Attachment Injury occurs when the sexual behaviour of the addict violates the trust and vulnerability of your relationship. When the addict lies, manipulates, coerces, and intimidates you in an effort to try to deny or hide their secret behaviour, you experience emotional and psychological injury from the confusion. Sexual Injury impacts your sexuality as a result of the addict’s pursuit of sex with you, with someone else, or both.
- Shock
- Feeling Scared
- Helpless
- Confused
- Depressed
- Grief & Loss
- Angry & Frustrated
- Tired of Faking It
- Isolated & Alone
- Rejected & Replaced
Many partners also struggle with feelings of shame or self-blame and feel too embarrassed to reach out for help.
Recovering from trauma involves stabilization and validation.
Individual and Group Counselling are two ways that one can heal from the relational trauma of being in relationship with a person with sex addiction.
You may also find yourself thinking one of these statements:
- “I have been traumatized by the repeated discovery of his deception and betrayal of me with these activities.”
- “We don’t have sex often, and it irritates me that he puts more time into the porn than trying to be intimate with me.”
You may insist your sex addicted partner seek professional help, while you take on the burden of caring for and protecting your family. Try not to isolate yourself from seeking professional help for your own healing. Sex addiction is very complex and leads to devastating consequences. If you lack an adequate trauma support system, you face the risk of developing or exasperating poor coping skills, such as overeating or excessive drinking. You may even find yourself confronting the aftermath of a revenge affair or another act of self-harm. Betrayal trauma and the aftermath it causes creates deep wounds in your relationship with your loved one, but it may also change how you see yourself. Exploring self-help resources is an excellent place to begin, but it is very difficult to achieve lasting healing and effective recovery from betrayal trauma on your own without a solid support system and good self-care.
WORK WITH US
Eldjie Kamto
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
My name is Eldjie and I am keen on supporting you on your journey to mental well-being. Having explored various interventions, I am partial to employing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to address maladaptive thoughts, emotions and behaviours through a warm, understanding and safe space. Read more…
Stephanie Haddad
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) and Independent Contractor
Stephanie is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) who is passionate about working with individuals and couples impacted by addiction. Her trauma-informed, empathetic approach to counselling focuses on uncovering and healing attachment wounds that contribute to the formation of addictions. Read more…
Marie-Chantale Noel, MA, RP(Q)
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), M.A.
Accepting New Clients – Virtual or In-person
Since beginning work in mental health more than 20 years ago, Marie-Chantale gained her experience in various settings, emergency psychiatry, in-patients populations and out-patient department, facilitating community services to multi-cultural populations and helping families to cope with mental and physical chronic illnesses.
Marie-Chantale has experience working with anxiety, depression and burn-out, self-esteem issues, abuse and trauma. She has also worked with relationship issues: dating, separation and sickness, parenting and co-parenting, issues with conception and fertility, perinatal loss; conflicts, infidelity and betrayal, issues with extended family, grief and loss, bereavement, loneliness and life transitions.
She works with individuals, teens and adults, and couples who are confronted with different life challenges. Read more…