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Recovery requires a team effort! It cannot be done by one’s own volition alone. If it could then the person would not have been coming to therapy as they would have solved it on their own. Had that been the case then it was likely not an addiction or compulsion and/or they in fact are only white knuckling it and they will give in eventually.

Team means working together with others against the addictive pathways in your brain. A counsellor or therapist can be helpful but they do not sufficiently qualify as accountability partners (AP). Sponsors can be but an AP but an AP does not have to be a sponsor. Enlisting others in the struggle, people who can hold you accountable for your behaviour, is key. Accountability Partners act as supports to your newly emerging neural pathways as you try and develop them to compete with the older and stronger addictive pathways.

Shame plays a major road block to recovery as the person does not want to face the feeling of telling another they had slipped or acted out. They do not even want to reach out as somehow just admitting the temptation is there is some sign of humiliation. But if the shame cannot be faced then it acts like a prison wall that traps the person in. In that prison the warden of addiction plays dictator and gets its way.

So break free from the prison, get a friend on the outside who gets what you are going through. The 12 step anonymous communities (SA, SAA, SLAA, etc) have many members in rooms and online that can become a possible source for accountability. There is also group therapy and the members of the group to try out and find an AP.

So do you have an AP? If not, where can you go to find one? Do it before your next major temptation.

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